If someone comes up with a book on ‘Secrets About Guys’, it would be the most wanted write up among the women's community. Those who say women are tougher to figure out; let me tell them the dudes are equally quirky to understand, and every girl wishes to sneak peek into her guy’s mind. What’s going on in there? How often do you feel like your partner is holding something back? Or maybe you’re at a silent standstill and have no idea how to move forward? We’ve all heard “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”, and we KNOW we’re different. What if you had a secret insight into the 15 secrets your man wished you knew, but maybe he didn’t realize it himself? Breeze on through our compiled list, and see if you find your partner in here. Remember, there are no hard and fast rules, so jump on the ones that fit your relationship!
1. Men Have Trouble Talking About Feelings
Was your guy raised as a traditional, stoic, man's man? If so, let WebMD walk you through men’s relationship secrets, gathered from psychologists who study gender roles. Secret No. 1: It may be easier for your man to talk about feelings indirectly. Instead of pondering how he feels, ask him more detailed questions. Frame your questions conversationally, like “Do you love it when your parents include us for every vacation”? “Do you think I should have more ‘girls nights’ out to give you more guy time”? His answers will reveal how he feels and bring you closer.
2. Men Don’t Care What they Eat
When the great debate over where to go for dinner, or what you should prepare is greeted with a shrug - don’t take it personally. Most guys simply want you to be happy, and truly don’t care. If you’re really looking for an opinion, try throwing out some options to give him a direction.
3. Men Say "I Love You" With Actions
Some men prefer to show their feelings through actions rather than words. Your guy may say "I love you" by fixing things around the house, tidying up the yard, or even taking out the trash -- anything that makes your world a better place. A great way to see how he connects is to do a free Love Language Quiz.
4. Men Take Commitment Seriously
Men have a reputation for being afraid to commit. But the evidence suggests men take marriage seriously. They may take longer to commit because they want to make sure they are onboard for good. In a survey of currently married men, 90% say they would marry the same woman again.
5. Shared Activities Form Bonds
Men strengthen their relationships with their partners through doing things together, more than by sharing thoughts or feelings. For many men, activities like sports, travel, and meaningful date nights make them feel closer to their partner. When you share your laughter, you’re cementing your bond. If you’re looking for something fun to do together, jump on over to our post on: “40 Creative Dates While You Shelter in Place”. Of course if you want a super convenient no brainer date night option, then order one of our DateBoxes.
6. He Really Is Listening
When you're listening to someone talk, you probably chime in with a "yes" or "I see" every now and then. It's your way of saying, "I'm listening." But some guys don't do this. Just because a man isn't saying anything doesn't mean he's not listening. He may prefer to listen quietly and think about what you're saying. Don’t get annoyed and think he’s not interested. Instead, enjoy being his center stage, and appreciate being uninterrupted.
7. Men Need Time for Themselves
While shared activities are important, men also need time for themselves. Whether your guy enjoys golf, gardening, or working out at the gym, encourage him to pursue his hobbies, while you make time for your own. When both partners have space to nurture their individuality, they have more to give to each other. That doesn’t mean every weekend needs a guys only activity, just encourage the extra space when he’s looking for it.
8. Men Let Go Faster Than Women
Women tend to remember negative experiences longer and may have lingering feelings of stress, anxiety, or sadness. In contrast, men are less likely to dwell on unpleasant events and tend to move on more quickly. So while you may still want to talk about last night's argument, your guy may have already forgotten about it. Try and find a mutual space so you’re both on the same page and move on together.
9. Men Don't Pick Up on Subtle Cues
Men are more likely to miss subtle signals like tone of voice or facial expressions. And they are especially likely to miss sadness or disappointment on a woman's face. If you want to make sure your guy gets the message, be direct. If you have something specific you’re hoping to open on your birthday, consider leaving a with list where it can be discovered! Then you’ll both be happy with the outcome.
10. Men Respond to Appreciation
Showing appreciation for your guy can make a big difference in the way he acts. Take parenting: Studies show that fathers are more involved in care-giving when their wives value their involvement and see them as competent. Small things like a thank you go a long way. Remember… men don’t pick up on subtle clues!
11. Men Think About Sex ... A Lot
OK, so maybe this one is no secret. Most men under age 60 think about sex at least once a day, compared with only a quarter of women. And that's not all. Men fantasize about sex nearly twice as often as women do, and their fantasies are much more varied. They also think more about casual sex than women do. But thinking is not the same as doing.
12. Men Learn From Their Fathers
If you want to know how a man will act in a relationship, get to know his dad. How they are with each other and how his father relates to his own partner can predict how a man will relate to his wife. Of course you want your partner to treat you well, so you’re 50% of the equation. Make sure to dish out the love you’re hoping to receive.
13. He’s Vested in You
Most men realize there's a lot to lose if a long-term relationship goes sour -- not just each other's company, but the entire life you've built together. If you're willing to work to strengthen your marriage, chances are your man will be, too.
14. Men Will Always Try To Fix Things
We’ve all been there, we come home and start telling a story that involves a problem. Don’t be alarmed when your guy jumps in with ways to “fix” the problem. Sometimes, women just want to vent and tell a great story. If your guy is a natural “fixer” than make sure to tell them you’re not looking for solutions, just an ear.
15. He wants to Make you Happy
Read that again - your guy wants you to be happy. He wants you to feel beautiful, secure, and happy. All those little quirks are just that. He may not be expressing his love in a way that you’re hearing it, however it’s there. His happy place is spending time with a partner that is confident, happy and joyful. If your guy tells you he thinks you look great - TRUST HIM! He loves you, and wants to make you happy.
What secrets did we miss?